I will not age!

I'm not ready to get old!

There were times during my menopausal years that I felt I was just shrinking back from life. Had God brought me to this point in my journey to have me sit on the sidelines and watch others as they struggled through familiar territory I had already traveled? I wanted so much to be used by God and yet I had no formal training in anything. I was a mom and soon to be a grandma. My life experiences with marriage were not exactly what I wanted to talk about unless I could just talk about my wonderful husband of 25 years. Past failures and poor choices made me feel very vulnerable and I wasn’t up to that either. So what did God want from me? He had showed me glimpses of what I am doing today and I thought surely He wasn’t going to ask me to stand in front of people and talk.

Why do we as older women feel we are to step aside and let the younger women do all the work? I must admit though there are times when I use the excuse I am tired and can’t do everything like I used too. That is so lame, isn’t it? But for several years my mind seemed to be in a funk and my memory was …well I had no memory. I would go to introduce a good friend to another and forget their name. I would be in the middle of a sentence and forget what I was even talking about. I heard an older lady once say, “it’s a senior moment” and everyone laughed and then she changed the subject and just went on like nothing happened. To me she was hard to follow, but not anymore. I find the easiest people in the world to converse with are the ones that just laugh and go on. We can always go back to that topic….when we remember what is was!

Our society tells us that we must stay pretty, thin and up-to-date on the latest styles and the current events. Well I tried that but soon the current events started to run together and I never got any of the facts right. Well that was embarrassing. The latest styles made me look like an older women, trying to look like a younger women and it was so uncomfortable. Why did my waist have to grow out the sides, anyway? My daughter-in-law is also my hairstylist and I want to have the latest hairstyle and she certainly helps me in that area. If it is something I wouldn’t look good wearing she lets me know.

The very best antidote to menopause is HUMOR! When I was finally able to laugh at myself, my outlook improved and spirit was lifted. When I was able to talk openly about my panic attacks, the fear subsided. When I was able to accept the aging process, God granted me peace.

My Interpretation:

LAUGH! LOVE! LIVE! Ask God for peace and a sense of humor. Remember none of us are going through something strange as if women before us did not experience menopause.

The Happy Hormone.

In very plain and simple terms, so I can understand, I will share with you what I have learned lately about the "happy hormone" called serotonin. I watched a video regarding depression and Dr. Hagar said that men make more serotonin than women, but the estrogen in women acts as a multiplier of the serotonin which then gives us as much as men. But what happens when our estrogen levels drop...like in our cycle so we will have our periods...and when we go into menopause, we experience depression. Now some of us may feel down for a few days and then perk back up, but some of us, especially during menopause, experience severe depression. Again there is so much more to it than what I have written so get on the Internet and check menopause out for yourself.

Don't for a moment, think you are going crazy or you're the only one struggling with your raging emotions and physical changes . Find a friend (preferably one who has already gone through menopause) to invite over for a cup of coffee or tea and conversation. Keep your ears open and when you hear ladies talking about it, ask them questions. Ask your mom how she coped in her later years. My mother never really talked about any problems but honestly I don't think she had time with six kids to tell us what was going on with her body. And I wasn't interested then, but now I am and she is glad to share with me. If you need someone to talk to email me or leave a comment and I 'll get up with you. There is no reason to go it alone!

I have a few websites to check out that sound pretty good about menopause. If they are worth the trip to the site I'll post thier URL in my next blog. I don't want to pass on anything that takes up your time. Thanks for stopping by and reading my thoughts.

My Interpretation:

Life is hard sometimes but when you have someone who can help you navigate through the storm, it gives you clearer vision and a brighter day. God is so good to give us woman who have been there done that and don't mind sharing what they've done.

Menopause is becoming a familiar topic!

In the last several weeks I have had the pleasure of talking with women a little younger than myself who are experiencing the symptoms of menopause. Not that that is a pleasurable topic by any stretch of the imagination but one can find pleasure knowing others have struggled through the change of life and are now experiencing freedom. For so many, going through menopause sucks the life out of their lives and for those who do not have any difficulties (I think they're in denial of getting older and won't admit it) they have no compassion for the hurting friend.

I always seem to run around with ladies who are younger than me. In fact, my husband is 5 years younger than me and that might be a contributing factor. So when I started into "the change" I described my symptoms to a close friend and was surprised at her response. She felt that it was all in my head and that when she reached my age she would be able to pray it away. Well, I gotta tell you that I was hoping she would feel my pain when she reached my age. Not a real Christian way of thinking but I must tell the truth. And so I didn't tell anyone else for fear that they would think of me as a whiner and complainer. Once the panic attacks started though I had to talk to someone, anyone...besides my family.

My husband is the one who loved me through the transition. And now looking back I really did put him through a lot. Even though we had a good marriage, the tension was oppressive and our emotions got away from us at times. I can't say that I am completely on the other side but I can see the shore. And it's a beauty! I feel more alive and free to be me than any other time in my live. And so I am happy and even excited about sharing my tough times with other women. My hope is that every lady will have that special person to love them through the difficult journey; be it their husband or close friend. We need to know we are not going crazy and yet we must learn how to handle our raging hormones and the anger, depression, and weight gain that goes with this normal change in our lives.

Medications can be helpful and many that I have talked to are under a physician's care, but I chose not to take hormone replacements other than a low dosage of birth control for about a year. The pill helped with some of the symptoms but the side effects were horrible for me and so I just tolerated the hot flashes, night sweats and sleep deprivation. If I were to have a do-over, I would take sleeping pills. And there is a good reason for that but right now it's late and I'm sleepy. Now I have no problem falling asleep and oh' that feels good too! So I'll pick this conversation up again tomorrow.

My Interpretation:

Menopause is a normal function of life and one that we should embrace as a passage into a free and wonderful "new normal" as an older wiser woman.

The Bible Verse of the day....

Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

As I read that verse this morning, it reminded me that it is not God who is far away, it is me. When I stop fluttering around and draw near to Him, He is always available and He then draws near to me. But I must first wash my filthy hands and purify my heart. I can not be double minded thinking about how to make it in this world by human standards and thinking about how to live out my life according to my reality in Christ. Those are not two separate lives that I have, they are the same life. I must choose who it is that I will serve and obey. I want to serve Christ with all my heart, soul and strength and so I MUST draw near to Him on a daily basis.

My Interpretation:

Lord I can only obey you with the help of Your Holy Spirit, so I must draw near to You continually so I can accurately hear Your will for my life. Help me draw near to You.

Tea Party and Fun Lovin' Ladies!

There is something about being in the presence of older ladies who aren't trying to impress anyone. The popular song that sings, "girls just want to have fun"...should be rewritten to "older women know how to have fun!"

The Mother's Day Tea was held at a personal residence and when Lois came with her hat perched on the top of her head, the mistress of the home donned her yellow hat. Well, that started something, for another lady wanted a hat then I wanted a hat then...and so we ended up with 7 ladies prancing around wearing gorgeous hats for the tea party.

Sarah sang a beautiful song about moms being hero's and of course tears fell on the checks of a mother and daughter who are experiences the separation stage as the daughter goes off to college. Our first speaker, Joan, shared her journey as a mother, grandmother and now a surrogate mother to her granddaughters. Joan's daughter-in-law passed away then her mother and so her role as a mother has not stopped but taken new turns along the way. She had to become the mother to her mother as she took care of her in her last days here on earth and now she is helping her granddaughters with all those girly things dads just don't know about. Once a mother...always a mother. Her message encouraged me to realize the role I play in my grandchildren's lives.

As I write this I am smiling because if I were in my twenties what happened next may have shocked me or made me think I was with a group of strange women. But since I am over 50, I so think it was a very funny way to show how we are all little girls inside wanting to make people laugh. Our speaker, who is one of us, began her message by telling us her pantyhose were falling down and were in fact close to her knees. It bothered her so much she just let them fall even lower and she took them off. Yep! Right in front of us. Of course she was completely discreet...we didn't see anything gross but it was a memorable experience! Her talk was funny and lighthearted and yet she reminded us of the awesome influence we have on our husbands and children. She influences me with her love for the Lord and her take-life-as-it-comes attitude.

My own mother is in another state and I am so thankful that my sister and her husband are driving my parents down for a visit in a couple of weeks. I would have liked my mom to share the laughter at our Mother's Day Tea Party but maybe we can have our own small party when she is here.

After the tea party I went to a wedding and then later in the day I attended my granddaughter's dance recital. I watched as she pranced around on stage with no cares whatsoever. I remember those days when you didn't know what was planned for the next hour or so and you didn't care; for you lived in the present moment. I so often exist physically in the present with my mind either focused on what I did wrong in the past or what I have to do in the future.

Today I was able to enjoy the present, moment by moment, because it was a day that required my attention continually. I LOVED IT! No worries just a lot of laughter, joy and contentment that God, my heavenly Father said to my heart...enjoy this day, enjoy your friends, enjoy life! He has given us such a wonderful gift of fellowship and yet we fail to pursue friendships because we are so busy with our daily lives. I want everyday to be filled with loved ones...even if I can only reach out to one, I want to show love.

My Interpretation:

Don't worry about the future or beat yourself up over the past. Live in the present. Kiss your husband and children, dance with your grandbabies and laugh with your friends. Most importantly, be thankful for the Lord's loving kindness.

Psalms 92:1-6
It is good to give thanks to the LORD And to sing praises to Your name, O Most High; To declare Your lovingkindness in the morning And Your faithfulness by night, With the ten-stringed lute and with the harp, With resounding music upon the lyre. For You, O LORD, have made me glad by what You have done,I will sing for joy at the works of Your hands.How great are Your works, O LORD!

Plastic, Football and Butterflies!

This blog is for my good friend Kris.

We go to the same church and we were acquaintances but it was at the high school football games where we really got to know each other well and became great friends. We talked more than watched but hey, we didn't have children playing. I think she was actually there to watch the games but I went to support my hubby so he wouldn't have to sit by himself and to socialize.

I was a fair weather fan but I made an exception one night...it rained and my hubby gave me a plastic outfit to wear over my clothes. Yep, you read that right. I thought this was something that every good fan did, so I donned the plastic and went to the game. I am SO GLAD that there weren't very many people there!! Kris couldn't stop laughing and that has been a joke between us. I love making memories with close friends and I will never forget the rain game and Kris.

I haven't worn the plastic suit since, but...today my granddaughter was visiting and it started raining as we were planting flowers. A plastic poncho was close by so I put it on her and she loved it; she felt like a butterfly. Of course she looks so much cuter than I did wrapped in plastic. She danced about in the rain and then hid behind the flowers trying to be seen as a flower. What a beautiful daffodil she made among the azaleas!

Making memories with my granddaughter is so important to me and I am so thankful to the person who invented the camera. Now if I would just be more vigilant about keeping them in scrapbooks or on CD's.

My Interpretation:

Memories made with friends and family fill the empty spaces in my mind with laughter and love to replay over and over when I need a good pick me up!